lilly12889

Today was probably the best work day I've ever had. As soon as I got there, I pulled Sandy to the side and told her I was probably going to quit in February when my year was up. She of course asked why, and I was totally honest with her. I said, "I hate working here. But I won't just quit on you guys, and I'll have to find another job before I leave." and she said, "Well, sometimes you have to do what Lilly wants." Then she recommended some places to apply and we talked while longer. Anyway, it really meant a lot to me that she was understanding about it. Usually when I discuss things with her, she is objectionable and rude.


Then I worked with the two new girls and got to know them a little, and they seem okay.


Also before work, mom and I discussed going to Las Vegas next May for my step grandmother's birthday. I told her I wanted to go, because I could just take my vacation from McDonald's then AND it'd be right after tax time. David and I were even talking about wanting to fly together just last night. It'd be perfect. I've been wanting to take a vacation for a while now, and man, I fell in love with Las Vegas the first time I went. (Wanna go to Las Vegas in May, babe?)


Oh, and before I forget... this is the most recent picture of my new hair cut. I really love David in this one, he's got an adorable smile. I look like crap, though... but I'll post some better pictures of the cut soon.





I feel pretty great right now. Except that my hair dryer died today... so, that's something I need to replace asap. -_-

David and I are nearing our ten month anniversary.

I got my hair cut off.

Brenden is doing awesome things, like saying "three" in french, and blowing kisses, and eating REALLY well, which I was concerned about for a while. Still not sleeping through the night, but we're working on it. It also seems like he's trying to say "daddy." and he's been saying "yeayea," which I probably spelled wrong... but that's grandfather in Chinese. He says "mama" too, mostly when he's upset or I'm leaving the room. God... he's coming right along. I love him. His vocabulary is actually pretty spectacular, considering at this point he's only supposed to be saying like one or two words. One mile stone after another. David and I have the cutest baby EVAR.

I feel like someone punched me in the gut.
I dug a pretty deep hole for myself.
And I have a long way to go.
What should I do first?


I feel like I'm stranded...
finally waking up to the sun.
A harsh reality I can't ignore.
Where do I go from here?

I think I've not gotten used to the time change, because I've been having a lot of trouble sleeping. My boys are sleeping, and I hope I don't wake them up.



A lot has happened to me the last couple weeks. Ricky died, and I know already told you all about that, but I still feel pretty bad. Plus, my dad was admitted into the hospital due to a cancer in his bladder. He implied that it wasn't really that serious, and that after surgery, he'd be discharged later today. Well, the surgery took a little longer than his doctor expected, and they decided to keep him over night again. And I know he's in pain. It just makes me so sad.


Life is really fragile. It's a wonder that we ever form relationships with people, because everyone goes away at some point. But I guess we are born and raised to a bond with our parents, so maybe that's just what we know to do.

I'm so depressed. Ricky's funeral was a total disappointment. It's not that funerals are supposed to "go well.." but this one was just awful. I felt so bad for him. I know there wasn't a lot of money put into this, because Carolyn didn't really have any disposable funds, but damn it, there wasn't even a tent to keep the rain out of Ricky's grave. I stayed until the service was over, and decided to skip the burial. It was too much.. poor Ricky.

He had a bruise on his nose, which is what I'm guessing is a result of the fall. But he did look nice, considering.. his hair was fixed like he usually wore it. He looked like such a gentleman. I miss him so much. Going to work without him there is so hard.

Adrienne is going to transfer to a new store, I think. She and Sandy were talking about it today. Everything that was in that store for me just isn't anymore. If I become a manager, I'll be miserable.. I know it. I'll be working with the only people who plan to stay there, and none of those people are ones I care to know.

I don't know..

I think I'm going to apply at wal-mart. It just seems like a cake job.